| # |
# |
Title |
Directed by |
Written by |
Original air date |
| 1 |
008 |
"The Puppetmaster" |
Noam Pitlik |
Philip LaZebnik |
September 28, 1990 (1990-09-28) |
| Brian hires an actor to play the role of a charming pilot who asks Helen out. |
| 2 |
009 |
"The Story of Joe" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bruce Rasmussen |
October 5, 1990 (1990-10-05) |
| A magazine writer wants to do a cover story on Joe, but then he meets Brian, and finds his life more interesting. Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger) and Norm Peterson (George Wendt) visit the island. |
| 3 |
010 |
"A Little Nightmare Music" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bryan Winter |
October 12, 1990 (1990-10-12) |
| Helen plays her cello to a very famous conductor (Special guest star David Ogden Stiers), who tells her she's terrible. |
| 4 |
011 |
"Sports and Leisure" |
Noam Pitlik |
David Angell |
October 19, 1990 (1990-10-19) |
| Roy tries to make friends with the gang by joining them in a game of Trivial Pursuit. |
| 5 |
012 |
"A Stand Up Kind of Guy" |
Noam Pitlik |
David Hackel |
October 26, 1990 (1990-10-26) |
| Joe holds a bachelor party for a guy he can't remember going to high school with. |
| 6 |
013 |
"It's Not the Thought, It's the Gift" |
Noam Pitlik |
Peter Casey and David Lee |
November 9, 1990 (1990-11-09) |
| Joe and Brian compete to see who gets Helen a more expensive birthday gift. |
| 7 |
014 |
"Hell Hath No Fury like a Policewoman Scorned" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bill Diamond and Michael Saltzman |
November 16, 1990 (1990-11-16) |
| Brian dates a policewoman to get her to drop charges on his unpaid parking tickets. Subplot: Lowell tries to capture something funny on his video camera for "America's Wackiest Videos". |
| 8 |
015 |
"High Anxiety" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bruce Rasmussen |
November 23, 1990 (1990-11-23) |
| Joe is grounded due to hypertension, and with the unreliable Brian seemingly his only option for keeping the airline running, Sandpiper's future seems very much in doubt. |
| 9 |
016 |
"Friends or Lovers?" |
Noam Pitlik |
David Lloyd |
December 7, 1990 (1990-12-07) |
| Joe and Helen go on their first date and Brian hires high school student Kenny McElvey (Michael Manasseri) as a backup pilot for the grounded Joe. |
| 10 |
003 |
"There's Always Room for Cello" |
Noam Pitlik |
Peter Casey and David Lee |
December 14, 1990 (1990-12-14) |
| Roy's son R.J. takes cello lessons from Helen. He told his dad that he has a crush on Helen, but the truth is he's gay. |
| 11 |
018 |
"A Terminal Christmas" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bill Diamond and Michael Saltzman |
December 21, 1990 (1990-12-21) |
| The gang tries to cheer Fay up because she misses her dead husband. |
| 12 |
019 |
"Airport '90" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bruce Rasmussen |
January 3, 1991 (1991-01-03) |
| Joe teaches a flight school, with Helen as one of his students. |
| 13 |
020 |
"Love Is Like Pulling Teeth" |
Noam Pitlik |
David Hackel |
January 10, 1991 (1991-01-10) |
| Joe has to take care of Helen when she gets her wisdom teeth pulled out, but unfortunately for him, her appointment falls on the same day as a gathering based around a much anticipated college basketball game. |
| 14 |
022 |
"The Tennis Bum" |
Noam Pitlik |
Peter Mehlman |
January 24, 1991 (1991-01-24) |
| Brian's upset because Fay beat him at tennis. Subplots: Roy tries to mess with Helen's mind by claiming that one of his male pilots is actually a female, and Joe accidentally destroys Lowell's beloved Graf Zeppelin model. |
| 15 |
021 |
"My Brother's Back and There's Going to Be Trouble" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bill Diamond and Micheal Saltzman |
January 31, 1991 (1991-01-31) |
| While Joe's in the hospital, due to throwing his back out, Brian has to take over at the airport. |
| 16 |
017 |
"Plane Nine from Nantucket" |
Noam Pitlik |
Philip LaZebnik |
February 7, 1991 (1991-02-07) |
| Joe and Brian think they spotted a UFO. Subplot: Helen and Fay squabble over a lunch bill. |
| 17 |
024 |
"Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bill Diamond and Michael Saltzman |
February 14, 1991 (1991-02-14) |
| Joe and Helen both go to the wrong place to meet each other on Valentine's Day. |
| 18 |
026 |
"Love Means Never Having to Say Geronimo" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bruce Rasmussen |
February 21, 1991 (1991-02-21) |
| Brian meets a great girl and wants to marry her, while jumping out of an airplane. |
| 19 |
023 |
"All in the Family" |
Noam Pitlik |
Bryan Winter |
March 7, 1991 (1991-03-07) |
| Brian dates young pilot Kenny's mother. |
| 20 |
025 |
"Mother Wore Stripes" |
Noam Pitlik |
David Lloyd |
March 14, 1991 (1991-03-14) |
| Joe and Brian's mother shows up, and reveals she's been in prison all this time. |
| 21 |
027 |
"Murder She Roast" |
Noam Pitlik |
David Hackel |
March 21, 1991 (1991-03-21) |
| When Brian sees a woman who looks like Fay on a TV show about escaped fugitives, he thinks she's trying to murder him. |
| 22 |
028 |
"Duet for Cello and Plane" |
Noam Pitlik |
Philip LaZebnik |
March 28, 1991 (1991-03-28) |
| Joe and Helen break up when she leaves for New York. |
| # |
# |
Title |
Directed by |
Written by |
Original air date |
| 1 |
029 |
"The Naked Truth" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Hackel |
September 19, 1991 (1991-09-19) |
| After tracking down Helen at a New York strip club, Joe tells her that he has a new girlfriend. Helen reacts to the news by driving her jeep through Joe's office. |
| 2 |
030 |
"Is That a Subpoena in Your Pocket?" |
Andy Ackerman |
Bill Diamond and Michael Saltzman |
September 26, 1991 (1991-09-26) |
| Joe takes Helen to court to get her to pay for the damage she did to his office. |
| 3 |
031 |
"The Taming of the Shrew" |
Andy Ackerman |
Christopher Lloyd |
October 10, 1991 (1991-10-10) |
| Helen goes to a group therapy session to deal with her feelings for Joe. |
| 4 |
034 |
"I Ain't Got No Bunny" |
Andy Ackerman |
Ken Levine and David Isaacs |
October 17, 1991 (1991-10-17) |
| Lowell becomes paranoid, thinking that his wife Bunny is going out with other men. Turns out she is. |
| 5 |
032 |
"If Elected, I Will Not Live" |
Andy Ackerman |
Larry Balmagia |
October 31, 1991 (1991-10-31) |
| Roy and Joe both run for city council. Subplot: Helen decides to sell her cello. |
| 6 |
036 |
"My Brother's Keeper" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Lloyd |
November 7, 1991 (1991-11-07) |
| When a rich woman, Mimsy Borogroves (Tyne Daly), comes to the island, she starts dating Brian. |
| 7 |
035 |
"Crate Expectations" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Hackel |
November 14, 1991 (1991-11-14) |
| The gang plans a surprise birthday for Joe |
| 8 |
037 |
"Ladies Who Lunch" |
Andy Ackerman |
Kathryn Baker |
November 21, 1991 (1991-11-21) |
| Joe doesn't like it when Helen becomes friends with his new girlfriend. Roy gets arrested when he tries to sneak aboard Air Force One when President of the United States George H.W. Bush and First Lady of the United States Barbara Bush are visiting Nantucket. Fay also tries to get aboard so she can touch Barbara Bush in order to keep her streak of touching every First Lady of the United States since Eleanor Roosevelt intact. Unlike Roy, Fay succeeds. |
| 9 |
033 |
"Try to Remember the Night He Dismembered" |
Andy Ackerman |
Bill Diamond and Michael Saltzman |
December 5, 1991 (1991-12-05) |
| With the airport fogged in, Brian entertains the gang with his hypnosis act and gets Roy to confess his deepest, darkest secret. Or does he? |
| 10 |
038 |
"The Late Mrs. Biggins" |
Andy Ackerman |
Steven Levitan |
December 12, 1991 (1991-12-12) |
| Roy reveals the fact that his late wife is not dead, she left him. |
| 11 |
039 |
"The Bogey Men" |
Andy Ackerman |
Larry Balmagia |
December 19, 1991 (1991-12-19) |
| Brian tricks Joe into coming with him to what Joe thinks is a golf retreat, but is actually a timeshare lecture. Subplot: Antonio entertains airport guests by playing the only song he knows on guitar ("Michael, Row The Boat Ashore") over and over and over. |
| 12 |
040 |
"Marriage, Italian Style" |
Andy Ackerman |
Christopher Lloyd |
January 9, 1992 (1992-01-09) |
| In order to stay in America, Antonio marries Helen. |
| 13 |
041 |
"Divorce, American Style" |
Andy Ackerman |
Steven Levitan |
January 16, 1992 (1992-01-16) |
| Helen finds out the quickie divorce means being married to Antonio for three years, unless he wins a green card in a lottery. |
| 14 |
042 |
"Stew in a Stew" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Angell |
January 23, 1992 (1992-01-23) |
| Fay gets upset when Joe spends money on leather flight jackets, when he explained to her earlier that he didn't have enough money to give her a raise. |
| 15 |
043 |
"This Old House" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Lloyd |
January 30, 1992 (1992-01-30) |
| Joe and Brian's childhood home is due to be demolished after a severe storm condemns it. At first they're upset, but then they can't really recall many happy memories of being there. |
| 16 |
044 |
"Planes, Trains, and Visiting Cranes" |
Andy Ackerman |
Ken Levine and David Isaacs |
February 13, 1992 (1992-02-13) |
| Frasier Crane (Kelsey Grammer) visits the island, and Helen wants her money back from one of his self-help seminars. |
| 17 |
045 |
"Das Plane" |
Andy Ackerman |
Bill Diamond and Michael Saltzman |
February 20, 1992 (1992-02-20) |
| When Joe raffles off a plane ticket for a charity event, cranky Carlton Blanchard (William Hickey) pays $10,000 for it. The catch is Carlton wants to fly cross country to reunite with his brother, and along the way, annoys everyone on the plane. |
| 18 |
046 |
"Take My Life, Please" |
Andy Ackerman |
Christopher Lloyd |
February 27, 1992 (1992-02-27) |
| Helen wants a new goal in life, and decides to try stand-up comedy. |
| 19 |
043 |
"Four Dates That Will Live in Infamy" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Hackel |
April 2, 1992 (1992-04-02) |
| Joe, Brian, Helen and Lowell try out a video dating service and compare notes to each other's experiences. |
| 20 |
048 |
"The Bank Dick" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Lloyd |
April 23, 1992 (1992-04-23) |
| When Brian spends a tax refund check, only to find out that the refund was an error, he gets a second job as a bank security guard. |
| 21 |
049 |
"Say It Ain't So, Joe" |
Andy Ackerman |
Steven Levitan |
April 30, 1992 (1992-04-30) |
| Joe becomes jealous, when a high school baseball star approaches and then beats his strikeout record. |
| 22 |
050 |
"As Fate Would Have It" |
Andy Ackerman |
Larry Balmagia |
May 7, 1992 (1992-05-07) |
| The gang accompany Helen to her gig as a cellist for the Boston Symphony Orchestra. But on the way there, the plane's engines die. |
| # |
# |
Title |
Directed by |
Written by |
Original air date |
| 1 |
051 |
"Lifeboat" |
Andy Ackerman |
Christopher Lloyd |
September 24, 1992 (1992-09-24) |
| The gang waits to be rescued from the plane crash. |
| 2 |
052 |
"The Fortune Cookie" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Lloyd |
October 1, 1992 (1992-10-01) |
| The amount of money Joe gets for insurance is low, so he fakes an injury. |
| 3 |
053 |
"Noses Off" |
Andy Ackerman |
Ken Levine and David Isaacs |
October 8, 1992 (1992-10-08) |
| When a plastic surgeon informs Brian of his imperfect nose, he plans to get a new one. |
| 4 |
055 |
"Blackout Biggins" |
Andy Ackerman |
Steven Levitan |
October 22, 1992 (1992-10-22) |
| Roy faints when he tries to sing the National Anthem at a baseball game. |
| 5 |
058 |
"Mathers of the Heart" |
Andy Ackerman |
Adam Belanoff |
October 29, 1992 (1992-10-29) |
| Lowell goes on a date with Helen. |
| 6 |
059 |
"Two Jerks and a Jill" |
David Lee and Andy Ackerman |
David Hackel |
November 5, 1992 (1992-11-05) |
| When a female helicopter pilot, Alex Lambert (Farrah Forke) moves to the island, Joe and Brian compete to impress her. Subplot: Lowell invites Antonio to the weekly Tuesday Night Rat Shoot. |
| 7 |
060 |
"It's So Nice to Have a Mather Around the House" |
David Lee |
Ken Levine and David Isaac |
November 12, 1992 (1992-11-12) |
| Brian sinks Lowell's houseboat, so he lets Lowell stay with him and Joe. |
| 8 |
056 |
"Just Say No" |
Andy Ackerman |
Adam Belanoff |
November 19, 1992 (1992-11-19) |
| A woman Brian is obsessed with comes back to the island, and Brian can't seem to say no to her, even though she stands him up several times. |
| 9 |
062 |
"It May Have Happened One Night" |
Andy Ackerman |
Christopher Lloyd |
December 3, 1992 (1992-12-03) |
| Everyone's trying to find out whether or not Joe slept with Alex. |
| 10 |
063 |
"The Customer's Usually Right" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Janet Leahy |
December 17, 1992 (1992-12-17) |
| In this Christmas episode, Joe goes insane when he's charged a 50 cent rewinding fee on a tape he is sure he rewound. |
| 11 |
054 |
"Exit Laughing" |
Andy Ackerman |
Larry Balmagia |
January 7, 1993 (1993-01-07) |
| Helen goes on a date with a friend of Joe's, who has a laugh like a hyena. |
| 12 |
061 |
"What the Cabbie Saw" |
Judy Pioli |
Steven Levitan |
January 14, 1993 (1993-01-14) |
| Antonio fears for his life when he testifies against a robber. |
| 13 |
064 |
"Labor Pains" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Hackel |
January 28, 1993 (1993-01-28) |
| Lowell has been offered a job at Logan International Airport, but he doesn't want to leave Nantucket. |
| 14 |
067 |
"I've Got a Secret" |
Andy Ackerman |
Adam Belanoff |
February 4, 1993 (1993-02-04) |
| Alex thinks Antonio blabbed her secret about posing for Playboy. |
| 15 |
065 |
"The Gift, Part 1" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Angell |
February 11, 1993 (1993-02-11) |
| Joe mortgage's his house to buy Helen a new cello so she can audition for a string quartet. Subplot: Fay, Lowell, Roy and Antonio rehearse for a community theatre play: "Phantom Of The Oprah" |
| 16 |
066 |
"The Gift, Part 2" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Angell |
February 18, 1993 (1993-02-18) |
| Helen gets the job, but the string quartet drives Helen crazy. |
| 17 |
069 |
"I Love Brian" |
Andy Ackerman |
Ian Gurvitz |
February 25, 1993 (1993-02-25) |
| Brian tries to impress Alex by telling her he knows Clint Black. Subplot: Antonio becomes a fan of I Love Lucy. |
| 18 |
068 |
"The Key to Alex" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Lloyd |
March 15, 1993 (1993-03-15) |
| Joe and Brian try to be more sensitive to get to Alex. |
| 19 |
057 |
"The Houseguest" |
Andy Ackerman |
Bill Diamond and Michael Saltzman |
April 8, 1993 (1993-04-08) |
| When Carlton Blanchard (William Hickey) falls down the steps at Helen's house, she invites him to stay with her, until his ankle heals, fearing a lawsuit. |
| 20 |
072 |
"Goodbye Old Friend" |
Andy Ackerman |
Christopher Lloyd |
April 29, 1993 (1993-04-29) |
| Lowell has a hard time accepting that a mechanic friend of his died. Subplot: Joe and Brian have to keep an already sleepless Helen awake for another 18 hours after she suffers a concussion. |
| 21 |
071 |
"Another Wedding" |
Andy Ackerman |
Larry Balmagia |
May 6, 1993 (1993-05-06) |
| The gang gets invited to attend the wedding of a friend of theirs. |
| 22 |
070 |
"Date Package Number Seven" |
Andy Ackerman |
Steven Levitan |
May 13, 1993 (1993-05-13) |
| Brian tries to impress Alex with a spontaneous date to Maine, but the date is pre-planned. |
| # |
# |
Title |
Directed by |
Written by |
Original air date |
| 1 |
073 |
"Stop in the Name of Love" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Hackel |
September 16, 1993 (1993-09-16) |
| Everyone is skeptical, when Brian tells them his relationship with Alex is different from all the others. |
| 2 |
074 |
"Terminal Jealousy" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Mark Reisman |
September 23, 1993 (1993-09-23) |
| Roy gets bored and decides to have some fun at everyone eles's expense. |
| 3 |
075 |
"Bye Bye Bunny" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Ian Gurvitz |
September 30, 1993 (1993-09-30) |
| After Lowell finalizes his divorce with Bunny, he starts sleeping with her again. |
| 4 |
076 |
"Business or Pleasure" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Steven Levitan |
October 7, 1993 (1993-10-07) |
| When Joe flies in potential investor Davis Lynch (Mark Harelik), he's more interested in Helen than Joe's airline. |
| 5 |
077 |
"An Affair to Forget" |
Andy Ackerman |
David Hackel |
October 14, 1993 (1993-10-14) |
| Joe becomes everyone's chauffeur. First for Brian and Alex, then for Helen. |
| 6 |
078 |
"A Black Eye Affair" |
Andy Ackerman |
Steven Levitan |
October 28, 1993 (1993-10-28) |
| Helen gets a black eye before she has a date with Davis. |
| 7 |
080 |
"Joe Blows, Part 1" |
David Lee |
Steven Levitan |
November 4, 1993 (1993-11-04) |
| Joe gets tired of everyone running to him with their problems, so he leaves the island. |
| 8 |
080 |
"Joe Blows, Part 2" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Ian Gurvitz |
November 11, 1993 (1993-11-11) |
| Brian is now in charge of the airline and realizes how much he needs Joe. |
| 9 |
081 |
"2 Good 2 Be 4 Gotten" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Rick Copp and David A. Goodman |
November 18, 1993 (1993-11-18) |
| When Sandy Cooper (Valerie Mahaffey), an old high school friend, returns to the island, Joe fears she's still obsessed with him. Subplot: Antonio tries to sell some of his personal items to raise money for his family back in Italy. |
| 10 |
082 |
"Fly with Me" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Howard Gewirtz |
December 2, 1993 (1993-12-02) |
| Joe, Brian, Helen and Lowell go to a singles party in Boston. Back at the airport, Roy, Fay and Antonio team up to try to win a radio call-in contest. |
| 11 |
084 |
"Happy Holidays" |
Andy Ackerman |
Mark Reisman |
December 16, 1993 (1993-12-16) |
| It's Christmas, and Lowell's ex-wife Bunny shows up and ends up sleeping with Antonio. Subplots: Brian is skeptical about meeting Alex's family and Fay becomes overbearing in preparing for the annual holiday party. |
| 12 |
083 |
"Ready Teddy Go" |
Andy Ackerman |
Joyce Gittlin |
January 6, 1994 (1994-01-06) |
| Helen's upset because she thinks Davis (Mark Harelik) bought her a teddy. |
| 13 |
085 |
"Oh Give Me a Home Where the Mathers Don't Roam" |
Peter Bonerz |
Shelly Landau |
January 20, 1994 (1994-01-20) |
| Lowell buys a new house, but is afraid of living there alone. |
| 14 |
086 |
"The Faygitive" |
Peter Bonerz |
Shelly Landau |
January 27, 1994 (1994-01-27) |
| Fay thinks she's being stalked when a P.I. starts asking questions. |
| 15 |
087 |
"Say Uncle Carlton" |
Peter Bonerz |
Steven Levitan |
February 3, 1994 (1994-02-03) |
| Antonio chauffeur's Carlton Blanchard (William Hickey) around the island for extra money. Carlton's nephew, Lewis (Gilbert Gottfried) also visits the island. |
| 16 |
088 |
"Hey Nineteen" |
Peter Bonerz |
Howard Gewirtz |
February 10, 1994 (1994-02-10) |
| Joe dates a nineteen year old woman. |
| 17 |
089 |
"Exclusively Yours" |
Peter Bonerz |
David Lee |
February 14, 1994 (1994-02-14) |
| Brian and Alex vow to date only each other. |
| 18 |
090 |
"Moonlighting" |
Peter Bonerz |
Ian Gurvitz |
February 17, 1994 (1994-02-17) |
| The gang recalls odd jobs they've had in the off season. |
| 19 |
091 |
"Sleepless in Nantucket" |
Peter Bonerz |
Jeffrey Richman and Joyce Gittlin |
March 10, 1994 (1994-03-10) |
| Brian moves in with Alex, and they find each other hard to live with. |
| 20 |
092 |
"Boys Will be Girls" |
Peter Bonerz |
David Lee |
April 7, 1994 (1994-04-07) |
| The gang's old gym coach shows up and Brian and Joe decide to give him a makeover while he's asleep, unaware that he's actually dead. |
| 21 |
093 |
"Roy Crazy" |
Peter Bonerz |
Mark Reisman |
April 14, 1994 (1994-04-14) |
| Roy's ex-wife Sylvia (Concetta Tomei) shows up, and Roy tries to win her back. Subplot: A waiter from a local restaurant goes gaga over Helen. |
| 22 |
094 |
"Long Distance Lament" |
Peter Bonerz |
Shelly Landau |
April 28, 1994 (1994-04-28) |
| When Davis (Mark Harelik) cancels another date with Helen, she decides to date another guy. |
| 23 |
095 |
"Call of the Wild" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Howard Gewirtz and Steven Levitan |
May 5, 1994 (1994-05-05) |
| An old friend of Brian's shows up, and they relive some wild time, much to Alex's dismay. Subplot: Lowell takes in his idol, an over-the-hill television superhero, who takes advantage of his hospitality. |
| 24 |
096 |
"A Decent Proposal" |
Peter Bonerz |
Ian Gurvitz |
May 12, 1994 (1994-05-12) |
| Davis proposes to Helen, but Joe still has feelings for her. Subplot: Brian tries to win Alex back. Singer/pianist Ray Charles makes a cameo appearance in the teaser. This was Farrah Forke's final appearance as a cast regular; she would make a guest appearance in the following season. |
| # |
# |
Title |
Directed by |
Written by |
Original air date |
| 1 |
097 |
"Whose Wife Is It Anyway" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Ian Gurvitz |
September 20, 1994 (1994-09-20) |
| Joe's determined to win back Helen, so he goes to New York to stop her from marrying Davis Lynch. |
| 2 |
098 |
"Twisted Sister" |
David Lee |
Steve Levitan |
September 27, 1994 (1994-09-27) |
| Helen's snob of a sister Casey shows up. |
| 3 |
099 |
"The Shrink" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Mark Reisman |
October 4, 1994 (1994-10-04) |
| Joe takes Brian to see a psychiatrist, but he ends up treating Joe instead. Subplot: Lowell goes on a search for his favorite hat that Antonio lost. |
| 4 |
100 |
"The Spark and How to Get It" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Howard Gewirtz |
October 11, 1994 (1994-10-11) |
| Thinking he's over Alex, Brian gets back on the singles scene. |
| 5 |
101 |
"The Waxman Cometh" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Shelly Landau |
October 18, 1994 (1994-10-18) |
| Lowell invests $25,000 in a wax museum. |
| 6 |
102 |
"Is That a Ten Foot Sandwich or Are You Just Glad to See Me?" |
Jeff Melman |
Ellen Byron and Lissa Kapstrom |
November 1, 1994 (1994-11-01) |
| Casey and Brian plan Joe and Helen's engagement party, while Joe and Helen think they're having an affair. |
| 7 |
103 |
"All's Fare" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Steven Levitan |
November 8, 1994 (1994-11-08) |
| Lovesick Antonio finally works up the nerve to ask Casey on a date, but before he's able to, he has to drive around a businessman who also has his eye on her. |
| 8 |
104 |
"Miss Jenkins" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Michael Sardo |
November 15, 1994 (1994-11-15) |
| Brian's attractive ninth-grade teacher (Special guest star Peggy Lipton) shows up, and he goes out with her But then regrets it, when she gives him a low mark for his performance in bed. TV legend Soupy Sales makes a cameo appearance in the teaser as a "Simon Says" competitor who courts Roy's mother. |
| 9 |
105 |
"If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother" |
Jeff Melman |
Joyce Gittlin and Jeffrey Richman |
November 22, 1994 (1994-11-22) |
| Helen and Casey's mom Dee Dee (Special guest star Debbie Reynolds) comes to the island to help plan the wedding. Subplots include Fay and Roy splitting a ticket to see Barbra Streisand, and Brian and Lowell compete with Dee Dee's food to see who can eat the most. |
| 10 |
106 |
"The Wrong Stuff" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
David Lloyd |
November 29, 1994 (1994-11-29) |
| Joe and Brian hire an ex-astronaut to promote Sandpiper, but the guy turns out to be even more obnoxious than Roy. |
| 11 |
107 |
"Insanity Claus" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Ian Gurvitz |
December 13, 1994 (1994-12-13) |
| When an air traffic controller finds out Antonio ate his donut, he holds everyone at the airport hostage on Christmas Eve. |
| 12 |
108 |
"She's Baaack" |
Rick Beren |
Rick Copp and David A. Goodman |
January 3, 1995 (1995-01-03) |
| Sandy Cooper (Valerie Mahaffey) is back on the island, and Joe tries again to get anyone to believe she's obsessed with him. Subplot: Fay gives Antonio her late husband's wardrobe. |
| 13 |
109 |
"Have I Got a Couple for You" |
Jeff Melman |
Mark Reisman |
January 10, 1995 (1995-01-10) |
| Fay sets Joe and Helen up with another married couple whom they love, but they get a little too clingy with the other couple. Subplots: Antonio assists Lowell after he injures his hands working on Antonio's taxi, and Brian and Casey try out a new singles place in Boston. |
| 14 |
110 |
"Fools Russian" |
Jeff Melman |
Howard Gewirtz |
January 31, 1995 (1995-01-31) |
| Roy plans to marry a mail-order bride from Russia. |
| 15 |
111 |
"Let's Call the Whole Thing Off" |
Jeff Melman |
Ellen Byron and Lissa Kapstrom |
February 7, 1995 (1995-02-07) |
| Joe and Helen crash a wedding to see how much things will cost, and end up getting into a fight which spills over onto the bride and groom. Subplot: Lowell and Antonio train for a Polar Bears water jump competition. |
| 16 |
112 |
"Remembrance of Flings Past, Part 1" |
Jeff Melman |
Ian Gurvitz |
February 9, 1995 (1995-02-09) |
| It's the gang's high school reunion, and Brian's old girlfriend shows up, informing Joe that he might be the father of her child. |
| 17 |
113 |
"Remembrance of Flings Past, Part 2" |
Jeff Melman |
Howard Gewirtz and Steven Levitan |
February 14, 1995 (1995-02-14) |
| Joe has to wait for blood test results to come back to find out whether or not he's the boy's father. |
| 18 |
114 |
"Gone But Not Faygotten" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Shelly Landau and Michael Sardo |
February 21, 1995 (1995-02-21) |
| Fay retires and Casey takes her place behind the ticket counter, but then Fay returns wanting her job back. |
| 19 |
115 |
"Ex, Lies, and Videotape" |
Jeff Melman |
Ellen Byron and Lissa Kapstrom |
February 28, 1995 (1995-02-28) |
| Brian appears on a popular woman's talk show, but it turns out to be a trap set up by his ex-girlfriend Alex (Farrah Forke in a guest appearance) |
| 20 |
116 |
"Portrait of the Con Artist as a Young Man" |
Ken Levine |
Joyce Gittlin and Jeffrey Richman |
March 21, 1995 (1995-03-21) |
| Casey gets interested in the sculptures Lowell makes out of old plane parts, and wants him to make a career of it. Subplot: Brian takes a prank snapshot which ends up in the wrong hands. |
| 21 |
117 |
"The Love Life and Times of Joe and Helen" |
Jeff Melman |
Steven Levitan |
April 4, 1995 (1995-04-04) |
| Brian makes a video diary of Joe and Helen's relationship for them as a wedding gift. |
| 22 |
118 |
"A House to Die For" |
Jeff Melman |
David Lloyd |
May 2, 1995 (1995-05-02) |
| Cranky Carlton Blanchard is at death's door, and everyone goes to his house to set what they can buy from his greedy nephew. The kids from The Brady Bunch Movie make a cameo appearance in the teaser. |
| 23 |
119 |
"Nuptials Off" |
Jeff Melman |
Michael Sardo |
May 9, 1995 (1995-05-09) |
| Helen realizes she never sent in the paperwork to divorce her and Antonio. So she enlists the help of Brian to fly her and Antonio to Mexico to get a divorce before Joe finds out. |
| 24 |
120 |
"Et Tu, Antonio?" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Ian Gurvitz and Mark Reisman |
May 16, 1995 (1995-05-16) |
| Antonio plays host to his cousin, who is engaged to a beautiful woman. Subplot: Joe and Helen receive their first wedding gifts, but the ones from Helen's side are better than those from Joe's side. |
| 25 |
121 |
"Boys Just Wanna Have Fun" |
Rick Beren |
Michael Sardo and Shelly Landau |
May 23, 1995 (1995-05-23) |
| Casey throws Helen a bachlorette party and Brian throws Joe a bachelor party. But Helen has a better time at her party than Joe does at his. |
| 26 |
122 |
"Here It Is: The Big Wedding" |
Jeff Melman |
Ellen Byron and Lissa Kapstrom |
May 23, 1995 (1995-05-23) |
| Joe and Helen are finally set to get married, except for a few minor setbacks, such as Joe dropping Helen's wedding ring in the toilet and getting his hand stuck, and Brian picking up the wrong size tuxedos. This was Thomas Haden Church's last appearance as a cast regular, having made one final appearance in the next season. |
| # |
# |
Title |
Directed by |
Written by |
Original air date |
| 1 |
123 |
"Burnin' Down the House, Part 1" |
Jeff Melman |
Ian Gurvitz |
September 19, 1995 (1995-09-19) |
| Joe and Helen return from their honeymoon to discover that Brian and Casey burned their house down while having sex. Subplot: Antonio hopes for one more shot at winning Casey's heart. |
| 2 |
124 |
"Burnin' Down the House, Part 2" |
Jeff Melman |
Howard Gewirtz |
September 26, 1995 (1995-09-26) |
| While digging through the remains of Helen's home, Brian discovers the old suitcase their father left them and tries to use it to make up with Joe. Subplots: Helen has her own method of revenge on Casey and Antonio exacts his revenge on Casey and Brian. |
| 3 |
125 |
"Death Becomes Him" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Ian Gurvitz and Mark Reisman |
October 10, 1995 (1995-10-10) |
| When Brian picks up the wrong dead body to deliver to a funeral, Joe must become the replacement corpse. |
| 4 |
126 |
"The Person Formerly Known as Lowell" |
Jeff Melman |
Mark Reisman |
October 31, 1995 (1995-10-31) |
| When Lowell witnesses a mob hit, he must decide whether or not to enter the Witness Protection Program. This was Thomas Haden Church's final appearance on the show. |
| 5 |
127 |
"Hooker, Line, and Sinker" |
Rick Beren |
Christopher Vane |
November 7, 1995 (1995-11-07) |
| Joe and Brian set Antonio up with a great girl not knowing she's a hooker. |
| 6 |
128 |
"She's Gotta Have It" |
Jeff Melman |
Lissa Kapstrom and Ellen Byron |
November 14, 1995 (1995-11-14) |
| Helen goes on a wild shopping spree with her insurance check. |
| 7 |
129 |
"So Long, Frank Lloyd Wrong" |
Rick Beren |
Howard Gewitz |
November 21, 1995 (1995-11-21) |
| Joe and Helen hire a famous contractor to build their new home. |
| 8 |
130 |
"When a Man Loves a Donut" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Joyce Gittlin and Jeffrey Richman |
November 28, 1995 (1995-11-28) |
| Brian feels left out now that Joe's married, so he starts to overeat. Subplots include Casey applying for a job and Antonio buying a vaulable (and painful) pair of shoes. |
| 9 |
131 |
"The Big Sleep" |
Jeff Melman |
Michael Sardo |
December 12, 1995 (1995-12-12) |
| After fighting with Helen over the plans for the new house, Joe dreams that he and Helen are in a plane crash. |
| 10 |
132 |
"Twas the Heist Before Christmas" |
Jeff Melman |
Lissa Kapstrom and Ellen Byron |
December 19, 1995 (1995-12-19) |
| Joe and Helen throw a Christmas party that everyone wants to leave. |
| 11 |
133 |
"Honey, We Broke the Kid" |
Jeff Melman |
Lori Kirkland Baker |
January 2, 1996 (1996-01-02) |
| When babysitting the daughter of a friend of theirs, Joe and Helen each have their own way of parenting. |
| 12 |
134 |
"B.S. I Love You" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Christopher Vane |
January 9, 1996 (1996-01-09) |
| Joe and Brian reunite with whom they think is their grandpa, but is actually an old roommate of their dad's from the mental hospital. Subplot: Antonio breaks a chain letter and bad fortune follows. |
| 13 |
135 |
"Sons and Lovers" |
Jeff Melman |
Joyce Gittlin and Jeffrey Richman |
January 16, 1996 (1996-01-16) |
| For Leap Year baby Roy's 12th birthday party, his son R.J. comes back to the island with his new boyfriend. |
| 14 |
136 |
"Bye, George" |
Jeff Melman |
Jim McGoulf |
January 30, 1996 (1996-01-30) |
| Fay plans to marry a man she met on a cruise, until she finds out his real first name. Subplot: Joe gets a cold after playing football. |
| 15 |
137 |
"The Team Player" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Howard Gewirtz |
February 6, 1996 (1996-02-06) |
| When Antonio runs the ticket desk for Joe and Brian, he inadvertently makes the star player of a hockey team miss his flight. Even though the guy's a jerk, Antonio must apologize to him. |
| 16 |
138 |
"Love at First Flight" |
Darryl Bates |
Michael Sardo |
February 13, 1996 (1996-02-13) |
| Brian falls in love with a woman who's just about to get married. Subplot: Roy acts like he is going out with Edna so that Antonio falls back in love with Edna. |
| 17 |
139 |
"Lynch Party" |
Jeff Melman |
Mark Reisman and Ian Gurvitz |
February 20, 1996 (1996-02-20) |
| Helen realizes she never broke off her engagement to Davis Lynch, and tries to do so behind Joe's back. |
| 18 |
140 |
"One Flew Over the Cooper's Nest" |
Jeff Melman |
Lissa Kapstrom and Ellen Byron |
February 27, 1996 (1996-02-27) |
| Sandy Cooper (Valerie Mahaffey) is back in town and Joe tries, yet again, to prove to Helen just how nuts she is. But it is he who ends up in the psychologist's chair. Subplot: Roy, Fay, Antonio and Casey fear that the tuna they had for lunch may be tainted. |
| 19 |
141 |
"Driving Mr. DeCarlo" |
Jeff Melman |
Christopher Vane |
March 12, 1996 (1996-03-12) |
| Antonio starts driving around a man everyone thinks is connected to the mob. |
| 20 |
142 |
"A Tale of Two Sister Cities" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Jeffrey Richman |
March 26, 1996 (1996-03-26) |
| Brian goes out with the princess of Kiranon, the city that Casey's trying to merge with Nantucket. Subplot: Joe becomes increasingly jealous over men giving Helen attention. |
| 21 |
143 |
"What About Larry?" |
Jeff Melman |
Michael Sardo and Mark Reisman |
April 9, 1996 (1996-04-09) |
| Joe and Helen's new contractor ends's up crashing at their place because his wife leaves him. |
| 22 |
144 |
"The Lady Vanishes" |
Jeff Melman |
Michael Sardo and Ian Gurvitz |
April 23, 1996 (1996-04-23) |
| Antonio goes on a quest looking for this woman he met in the terminal. |
| 23 |
145 |
"Life Could Be a Dream" |
Jeff Melman |
Lori Kirkland Baker |
April 30, 1996 (1996-04-30) |
| When the gang opens up a time capsule they buried 20 years ago, they imagine what their lives would've been like. |
| 24 |
146 |
"The Lyin' King" |
Jeff Melman |
Christopher Vane |
May 7, 1996 (1996-05-07) |
| Joe feels awful about lying to Helen about going to help out at an old age home, when he's actually going to see an old girlfriend at a strip club. |
| 25 |
147 |
"Love Overboard" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Lissa Kapstrom and Ellen Byron |
May 14, 1996 (1996-05-14) |
| Casey's ex-husband Stuart (John Ritter) shows up and hides the fact that he's rich. Roy teaches Antonio how to dance. |
| 26 |
148 |
"Grouses, Houses, and Bickering Spouses" |
Jeff Melman |
Lori Kirkland Baker and Jeffrey Richman |
May 21, 1996 (1996-05-21) |
| When celebrating their departure from living in the same house as Brian and Casey, Joe and Helen accidentally burn Brian's house down. |
| # |
# |
Title |
Directed by |
Written by |
Original air date |
| 1 |
149 |
"Porno for Pyros" |
Jeff Melman |
Ian Gurvitz |
September 18, 1996 (1996-09-18) |
| Joe and Helen burn Brian's house down and he expects to get a big check like they did. But the insurance investigator doesn't believe the story of how the fire happened until the same thing happens to her. |
| 2 |
150 |
"Like a Neighbor Scorned" |
Jeff Melman |
Howard Gewirtz |
September 25, 1996 (1996-09-25) |
| When Joe and Helen meet their new neighbors Steve and Barbara, they think they are great at first until Steve asks Joe for a $5000 loan for his gambling debts. Subplot: Antonio receives his recently deceased Uncle Bernardo's personal belongings, including perfumed letters written to Gina Lollobrigida |
| 3 |
151 |
"Maybe It's You" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Mark Reisman |
October 2, 1996 (1996-10-02) |
| Brian's vow to find a meaningful relationship is tested when he meets a beautiful but dumb woman. |
| 4 |
152 |
"Single and Hating It" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Lissa Kapstrom and Ellen Byron |
October 9, 1996 (1996-10-09) |
| While a storm rages outside Joe and Helen stop by a singles mixer to drop off Brian's wallet and end up stuck there for their 1st anniversary. |
| 5 |
153 |
"Too Beautiful for You" |
Joyce Gittlin |
Lori Kirkland Baker |
October 23, 1996 (1996-10-23) |
| Antonio mans the suicide hotline and makes a date with a woman who calls. Subplot: Helen loses customers when a new food cart arrives at the terminal. |
| 6 |
154 |
"The Gift of Life" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Michael Sordo |
October 30, 1996 (1996-10-30) |
| A medical courier leaves a package in the terminal on Halloween and evereyone tries to figure out what's in it. |
| 7 |
155 |
"Olive or Twist" |
Jeff Melman |
Jeffrey Richman |
November 6, 1996 (1996-11-06) |
| Casey suggests that Brian uses his insurance check to open a martini bar. |
| 8 |
156 |
"Wingless, Part 1" |
Darryl Bates |
Christopher Vane |
November 13, 1996 (1996-11-13) |
| A financial crisis forces Joe to seek out an investor. When businessman Jonathan Clayton comes to the island, Joe thinks it's his lucky day. But Clayton informs Joe he doesn't invest in businesses, he buys them. With no other choice, Joe sells. |
| 9 |
157 |
"Wingless Part 2" |
Jeff Melman |
Ian Gurvitz |
November 20, 1996 (1996-11-20) |
| The first act that new Sandpiper president Cord Clayton does is hold a meeting telling everyone they need a big idea. Little does Roy know that he will be responsible for this big idea. |
| 10 |
158 |
"Wingless, Part 3" |
Jeff Melman |
Lori Kirkland Baker |
December 11, 1996 (1996-12-11) |
| When Cord chickens out at a presentation before his father's board of directors, Joe and Brian deliver it instead. |
| 11 |
159 |
"All About Christmas Eve" |
Joyce Gittlin |
Michael Sordo |
December 18, 1996 (1996-12-18) |
| Another odd Christmas hits Nantucket as Antonio drives a nun around the island who's in search of a vision she saw in a dream, Joe and Brian try to diffuse a long-standing feud between two elderly brothers, and Fay, Helen and Casey get trapped in the basement of the department store where Casey works. |
| 12 |
160 |
"Let's Talk about Sex" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Ellen Byron and Lissa Kapstrom |
January 8, 1997 (1997-01-08) |
| Roy falls in love with talk show host Mary Pat Lee, but discovers she's using information he gave her to ambush Joe and Helen on her show. Subplot: Brian pays Casey to run errands for him. |
| 13 |
161 |
"Hosed" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Christopher Vane |
January 15, 1997 (1997-01-15) |
| Joe and Helen deal with a crooked vacuum cleaner salesman who charges them for a vacuum cleaner that had an eternal guarantee. |
| 14 |
162 |
"Just Call Me Angel" |
Jeff Melman |
Lori Kirkland Baker and Christopher Vane |
February 5, 1997 (1997-02-05) |
| When the pilots flying the plane Joe and Brian are on suffer from food poisoning, it's up to Brian to land it because Joe also has food poisoning. |
| 15 |
163 |
"Fay There, Georgy Girl" |
Jeff Melman |
Ken Keeler |
February 12, 1997 (1997-02-12) |
| After selling valuables that belonged to her three late husbands, Fay begins to be visited by their ghosts. |
| 16 |
164 |
"Escape from New York" |
Jeff Melman |
Jeffrey Richman |
February 19, 1997 (1997-02-19) |
| Brian and Helen go to New York to see the broadway musical Rent. But their trip turns into a nightmare when Helen loses all her cash playing a card game. |
| 17 |
165 |
"House of Blues" |
Jeff Melman |
Jeffrey Richman |
March 5, 1997 (1997-03-05) |
| Brian and Casey are kicked out of Joe and Helen's place so they buy a house of their own with help from Antonio. Subplot: Helen and Joe are blackmailed by some kids. |
| 18 |
166 |
"Ms. Write" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Lissa Kapstrom and Ellen Byron |
March 19, 1997 (1997-03-19) |
| Brian falls for someone after reading love letters mistakenly sent to the old occupant of the house. Subplot: Antonio installs a home security system for Joe and Helen. |
| 19 |
167 |
"Dreamgirl" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Michael Sordo |
April 2, 1997 (1997-04-02) |
| With Fay on vacation, Joe and Brian hire a beautiful woman to fill in. Subplot: Casey gets Antonio a job at the department store where she works. |
| 20 |
168 |
"Heartache Tonight" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Lori Kirkland Baker |
April 16, 1997 (1997-04-16) |
| Roy invites Joe and Helen over to his house to meet his mother (Rose Marie) and tells her that Helen is his girlfriend and Joe's the help. |
| 21 |
169 |
"Oedipus Wrecks" |
Darryl Bates |
Lissa Kapstrom and Ellen Byron |
May 7, 1997 (1997-05-07) |
| Brian's surprised to find out his girlfriend's son is in college. Further complications happen when Casey starts to date the young man. Subplot: Joe and Roy try to overcome a fear of the circus. |
| 22 |
171 |
"Raging Bullsh@t" |
Jeff Melman |
Christopher Vane |
May 14, 1997 (1997-05-14) |
| Joe enters a boxing tournament to beat an old rival and things turn unusual when the rival drops out and Joe's matched against Brian. |
| 23 |
172 |
"The Final Approach (TV Episode), Part 1" |
Leonard R. Garner, Jr. |
Michael Sordo |
May 21, 1997 (1997-05-21) |
| To cheer up Helen, Joe restores her cello. While she refinds her passion for music, the rest of the gang hunts for money that Joe and Brian's father left them. They eventually find it and now have $250,000. |
| 24 |
173 |
"The Final Approach (TV Episode), Part 2" |
Jeff Melman |
Ian Gurvitz |
May 21, 1997 (1997-05-21) |
| Joe and Brian want to do different things with their money. Joe wants to expand his airport business and Brian wants to leave the island for good. |